Sometimes right when you think ‘I need a hug’, one arrives. Â This has been a biiiiiiiig work week – Almost 50 hours done before I woke up Friday morning. Â Today I had felt I had enoughÂ time Â to go get a coffee with a friend (to drink in my office, natch). Â The latte came with this little bear hug in the cup. Â Aw!
A friend joked with me when I got tenure (PS, my tenure and promotion application was accepted after all) that now it was time to coast because now the University is ‘stuck with me!’
However, it has not worked out that way at all.
I applied for a lot of grants, never thinking that they would all get funded. Not all of them did, but more than I expected. This is nothing to complain about, it is a wonderful vote of confidence from the funding agency and a great boost to the productivity of my research program. BUT it is a lot of projects and students and data collection and management…Â which means not a lot of paddling and yoga and visiting and art and travel and reading (fun stuff).
So I feel a little hard-done-by, complicated by the fact that I chose this kind of career (back up job of fitness instructor not off the table) and then chose to have a million projects and students, and also chose to be in my office for 50 hours and not go out paddling this week.
I DID IT TO MYSELF! Â Â …and that’s why it really hurts.
For some people, ‘doing it to yourself’Â might preclude complaining, but NOT ME. Â Luckily or unluckily, IÂ am not shy or constrained by gender normsÂ to a degree that I can’t have a grump-out in this sea of ivory-tower privilege. Â If you want me I’ll be smokingÂ a melancholic cigarette to pass my ennui (just kidding I’ll be reviewing student papers and doing some stats).